The Bar Scene Bonus

I guess we've all been there... I feel like I've spent less time there than most. I never did bars in college. I actually studied, oh, and I had a boyfriend in college - all through college, and then some. I remember my first time getting served while underage, it wasn't even in a bar. My boyfriend and I went out to a nearby Chinese restaurant, and I ordered an illegal glass of wine... just one... who does that? Me, apparently. Not shocking to those that know me. I'm not the girl at the bar who forgets who she met or kissed... though I've had times when I've thought, "I wonder if he's this cute when I'm not drinking." But that's mostly when I've been on vacation with friends... I like to call that "Vacation Grace". Vacation Grace had a nice little run, post-college, pre-turning 30... haven't seen much of her lately.

So, right, the bar scene. It serves a purpose... just not really my purpose right now. I've met a few really nice guys out in bars. I have an ex who is a bartender... great friend, bad boyfriend... (amazing bartender!) and I met this fantastic guy in a bar several years ago... who is honestly one of my best guy friends... we've never kissed, but we wouldn't pass the "When Harry Met Sally" Test. Then there's the long, sorted tale of the guy I met in a bar while on vacation, who happened to be from my local city. That chance encounter turned into a long-term, on & off relationship. This was my most recent, & most painful... I wish I had just pulled it away quickly like a band-aid. Instead it felt more like a slow bleeding.

Then there are the bar nights that are simply pick-me-ups... both emotional and well, physical. Furtive glances, the eye contact locks... all the stuff that the VH1's Pick-Up Artist teaches his students about... girls love that stuff. Nowadays, when I'm out at a bar with friends, my openness to men approaching depends on 3 things:
1) Who am I with? If I'm with my married or otherwise attached friends... it's more likely that I'm there for their company, not watching the scene. If I'm with my unattached friends (usually my younger set of friends - more on that later) then yes, I'm up for some conversation and flirtation.
2) Is the man attractive? Let's face it, no matter what, if I'm not feeling it... I don't want to have a conversation with it when I'm out with my friends.
3) What mood am I in? There's no telling on this one, and truthfully, a good conversation can turn this around... the emotional pick-up, leading to the physical pick-up...

Most of the time, especially now, bars are where I go to get a good martini, a nice glass of wine, and maybe listen to some fun live music or dance to a good dj. (Good dj to me is stuff I know, not house or techno.)

The last time I went out with friends who were clearly looking to hook-up, I became a wing woman. That worked out fine, as everyone felt really young. That is, aside from the one and only interesting conversation I had all night... with one guy's father. He was probably my dad's age. But, hey, he was interesting, not attractive... interesting.

I'm going out tonight, for fun and friends, and hopefully to dance to a cool hard rock cover band. I'm hoping for a good time with friends, anything else is a bonus.