Match.com - Rounds 1 & 2

To be honest, I'm not sure I remember when exactly I started my first round of Match.com-ing. I know that each time, now numbered at three..., I have hoped for better results than the last... and it simply has not worked out that way. Each time I have gotten my membership's worth of dinners or drinks or both, but not much more.

I blamed the poor results the first time around on my own not being ready to really "get out there" but rather, just to see who's out there. Turns out, that's very close to today's Match.com slogan, "It's okay to look." And it was... okay... not great, not exhilarating... simply okay. I can't really even recall that many dates from Round 1. I remember emails, creepy emails, invitations to meet in the back of movie theaters, I'm not kidding. Emails from guys that CLEARLY did not care what my "what I'm looking for" criteria were, I was 25 - fit, looking for single guys, never been married, with height and fitness ranges... I was getting emails from shall we say, a more "mature" set, it was very unnerving for my single self.

I would email guys that struck my fancy, guys that seemed to suit my likes and who neatly fit onto my not so subconscious check-list... and they would not respond. It was a real downer in general for the ego. So, I decided to see what came my way instead, and when I just let things come to me, I started responding to the "well, maybe he's better in person" type profiles. He never was, not once. They were always better in their profiles.... every time.

Rick's Cafe was the site of my first Match.com date. It was one of those times when you meet someone that you don't know and you see them, and you wish you could simply keep walking, but then you realize that they've recognized you, and then you're stuck, on the hook for the night. The poor guy. His picture actually did him too much justice, I'd never seen anything like it. And in the photo online he wasn't that great, I was hoping he was not photogenic. In person, he truly had a chimpanzee quality, very large ears, a mouth that stuck out beyond the point that it should, and a very high forehead. I have no doubt that he was intelligent; intelligent in that, "I know a lot about how to fix your Internet connection or your flux capacitor but nothing about how to fix a lull in a conversation," kind of way. And that's how the conversation went, it was rough for me. But, it was the first time I tried fried ice cream. Turns out, that wasn't so great either.

I never really tried any date diversion techniques; the "emergency" call from a friend, the bathroom duck and dodge, the "sick" feeling. I've generally stuck things through, goodness knows why. The endings were always so awkward. The half hug, butt out, with the friendly three tap on the back... and the "okay, so thanks... take care."

There was another date during this time, who I clearly did not give my full attention. We went to a billiards/bar venue, a good idea for a first date, but I remember the text messages I was getting from another guy (a soon to be BF) during the whole date, and not that much about the date itself. That said, in Round 3 of my Match.com-ing... this guy came around again, send an electronic "wink" as you now can. I ignored it. Then he emailed... and emailed again. Finally, I responded to remind hi that we had actually gone on a date before and that "it didn't click then and would likely not now"... apparently, he didn't recall the date at all. He asked where we had gone on our date, which I didn't answer back to... really, do you want me to rehash the whole thing, obviously if you don't recall, it wasn't good for you either. Good luck, buddy.

I had a short stint on Match.com (Round 2) while I was broken up with a BF, before we got back together, which was before we broken up again... obviously. Yeah, I'm not proud of all that. Anyway, it was rather short, I experienced the same issue with not having responses to my interests, but getting emails and now "winks" from guys that were "okay" on the check-list, which at this point was much more open than it was at age 25. I did have a decent date with a great guy, but the super spark wasn't overwhelming, so he didn't call. I wouldn't gone out again with him...oh well. That's the way it works. I think that one of the problems with Match is that the pool of availability must seem so endless, even after a good date, why wouldn't you want to keep looking, just in case the next best thing just arrived in your inbox? After every mediocre
date I went on, I logged on to Match... just to look. So, therein lay the problem, unless you have that immediate "this is the one" feeling... which I'm seriously convinced I'm not capable of having... you're going to want to know what your other options are.

I blame that phenomenon for a failed Match.com dating experience I had with a nice guy in a nearby city during this time (Round 2) that didn't work out... one date (about 3 dates in) he gave me burned CDs of a band we had seen while out on Date #2... then next thing I know... he falls off the face of the earth.

That guy had been the one that made it through what I liked to refer to as my personal screening service. I forwarded emails from Match.com guys to my sister and then she would read them, or even log in as me to see the guys' profiles, and the give me feedback. It worked out great, I was very busy, finishing grad school, writing a thesis, working, etc... and frankly, someone needed to get a kick out of some of these guys! She and I got quite a few shared laughs out of that Round!

Round 2 was ended because of my getting back together with the ex. I gifted the rest of my membership to a friend since I was convinced that this time things were going to work and I certainly didn't need it, and someone should be able to benefit from the months I had already paid for because they automatically renew your membership unless you tell them not to. I wrote a very angry email to Match.com about this. By having an automatic renewal policy, it seems to me that they are practically saying,"hey, we don't expect you to find someone in a reasonable amount of time, so we're just going to assume you'll need to keep looking."

Getting rich off the lonely, there are worse business practices out there, I suppose. After all that, I went back for Round 3, so really, who is at fault?