Speed Dating - Incoming: Event 1

This past summer, I decided that I needed to try, because I had not done so yet, the speed-dating craze. I looked it up online, read testimonials to its success, saw like-minded individuals, attractive people, there was even a story from one of the morning shows that investigated the "craze" by sending a correspondent to give it a try...

So, I signed up for an "event" at an upscale bar downtown. The suggested age range was 25-35. I asked my cousin to sign up too, which she did, despite her own prior experiences with speed dating, which were not good (she left early that time). But she backed out the day of the event... and I simply decided to go ahead on my own.

I gave myself a bit too much time to get there, but when I arrived early, the place was already bustling with people. I walked in and looked for the event coordinator so I could check in. When I saw a tall, attractive young lady writing out name tags, I was confident that I had found her... so I said, "Are you in charge here?" She replied, "Oh, no, I was just writing out a name tag for my friend. Are you an incoming?" (Now I'm a little confused, I wouldn't have said, "incoming" maybe "first-timer" or "speed dating virgin" even...) I tried not to look too befuddled and said, "Yes". To which she replied, "Oh, great! I'm an outgoing." (Huh? - What does that mean, an outgoing speed-dater... did you meet someone? You've moved on? Getting married? Why are you here?) Now I started to think I had the wrong date or time for my speed-dating event... so I inquired, "Wait a minute. What event IS this?"

Turns out it was some alumni group gathering. I was disappointed, the people gathered there seemed nice and normal, but they weren't there for speed dating... of course they weren't. I checked the posted list of events by the hostess stand, and saw a list of about four events for that day, none of which were the speed dating. Hmmm. Okay, so now I have to ask, to put myself out there to the far-too-attractive-and-young-to-know-anything-about-speed-dating hostess, who, up until this point had obviously not been very helpful.

“Do you know where the speed dating is?” She simply raised her left arm, and pointed in that general direction… behind the socializing group of alumni… she chomped her gum, but said nothing. When I looked in the direction that her point indicated, I realized that I should have known. There sat one woman, alone at a table, with a list, and a stack of what turned out to be the speed-dating equivalent of bingo cards. I checked in, and was known from that point on as “Grace 408”. I was given my dating card, told to fill out a nametag and join the others who had already gathered at the far end of the bar.

The far end of the bar, not the cool end, where all the fun was being had, but the far end… where other speed-daters clamored for the bartenders attention without actually interacting with each other. Some, who already had drinks to sip, looked over the rims of the glasses hesitantly. I’m convinced that at least one potential speed-dater drank her beverage, and then left before the event really began.

As more people gathered, and the event start time came and went, and appetizers came out. Can you believe that one the chosen appetizers for this event was boneless buffalo wings? Really, a room full of singles who have never met each other, are about to have several one-on-one conversations, most of which will start with, “Hello” and “How are you?” and your going to serve us buffalo anything? That just seemed cruel.

Anyway, a short introduction to the process followed, and while I had come alone, I had already met someone before the dating even began… her name was Amanda… Amanda 312, actually. We had our pre-dating drinks together and even ate our appetizers together so as to avoid any awkward while eating conversations with any of the guys. I actually had to convince Amanda to stay. After we ate and were looking around at our prospects, she nearly ducked out. But somehow I managed to convince her to give the process a try, and if nothing else, she at least would have given it a full go.

So, the dates finally began. I looked at my “lucky” speed-dating card, and moved to my first table. I was met there by a fellow speed-dater, we converse for 8 minutes, a bell (like that you would use to call a bell-boy) is rung, and everyone moves on to his or her next table. The evening continues, this happens four times, at which point we are given a “break” where we are encouraged to mingle with daters we haven’t met yet. Then the process continues. (I KNOW some girls left at the break.) We have 8 dates in total when the night is done. Of those dates I had; one high-on-himself history teacher, one awkward and simply unfortunate-looking computer engineer, one fellow who had trouble looking me in the eye, but did profess his high level of mathematics skills, and the rest, oddly enough were nice (but not attractive to me) Asian men. I am a relatively tall and not of a petite build. Most of these guys were shorter than myself, and all of them had slighter builds than I am used to in my dates. (I have this problem. I hate to feel like a big girl. I’m not, not really, but when paired with a guy with a slight build, I FEEL huge. Plus, I like to wear heels.) A few of these guys, while certainly the most interesting conversationalists of the night, were guys I could hang out with, but not ones I would see as romantic interests.

It wasn’t a torturous night, but it was not productive. So far, speed-dating for my romantic life, was a bust. But that was just one event, they can’t all be like that. Right?